What do bosses, police officers, doctors, teachers, tax officials and bank officials have in common? They are all considered an authority in their area of expertise. Some of them wield considerable power over our lives too.
Since our childhood, we are taught to conform to authority, mainly because it helps run the society smoothly. A healthy respect for authority is a good thing. But oftentimes, we grow up to be overly compliant towards doctors, bosses and officers of all kinds.
It may not even occur to us to question a prescription. Or why we were passed over for a promotion. Or why we should do two more rounds of the playground when we are already not feeling well?
Coming from them, it just feels “more right”.
Actually, it is not about questioning an authority figure. It is about retaining full control of your good sense when talking to one.
Automatic deference to authority can be so deeply ingrained that we think we are just being polite when we act upon their advice or commands.
And a modern day version shown on BBC (video on the side).
Watch your thoughts and behaviour carefully the next time you are in a doctor’s office. Or at a parent-teacher meeting.
Do you automatically agree to what they say?
It is true that sometimes deferring to authority is the sanest thing to do. But wouldn’t it be so much more empowering if we were doing it out of choice? And not because we were on auto-pilot from our conditioning?
Tip: While tapping through this script, think about an incident when you found yourself deferring to authority. Was it when you were talking to your boss? Or the traffic police? Think back to any childhood incidents as well. Just pick a specific incident where you toed the line simply because an officer said so, and tap along.
You can also tap through this script before leaving home for a meeting with an authority figure.
EFT tapping set up
Even though I defer to authority figures automatically, I wish I could stay sane and in control of my senses instead of giving away my power just like that.
Even though I was conditioned to follow whatever an authority figure said, I’m now open to checking with my common sense first before doing anything they say.
Even though God forbid I question any authority figure’s command, I’m opening up to speaking my own truth, tactfully, and honestly.
EFT tapping round 1
Eyebrow I feel small when I talk to an authority figure.
Side of the eye Their being in a position of authority
Under the eye immediately puts me at a disadvantage.
Under the nose Because they are the one in charge, not me.
Chin Anyone in charge of anything makes me feel small.
Collar bone It triggers my “defer to authority” response.
Under the arm And I become like putty in their hands.
Top of the head I follow blindly what authority figures say.
EFT tapping round 2
Eyebrow This response is so ingrained in me,
Side of the eye I don’t even stop to check with my common sense.
Under the eye In turn I come across as timid, not polite.
Under the nose And timid is often mistaken for stupid.
Chin So a sane person like me appears nearly stupid.
Collar bone And later, that is cause for regret.
Under the arm Because at times I feel shortchanged.
Top of the head At other times I feel angry at myself
EFT tapping round 3
Eyebrow for not having questioned the authority figure.
Side of the eye I automatically think that they are absolutely right.
Under the eye So everything they say is right by default.
Under the nose Even if I’m a smart person otherwise,
Chin I drop all my guard before an authority figure.
Collar bone I agree to suggestions I wouldn’t in my right mind do.
Under the arm I feel nervous speaking up for myself.
Top of the head I rush to fill silent gaps.
EFT tapping round 4
Eyebrow I fumble for words, I blabber incoherently.
Side of the eye I even stammer sometimes.
Under the eye I nod in agreement with them, repeatedly.
Under the nose I repeat their statements to show agreement.
Chin But I’m not like that normally.
Collar bone I act that way because I don’t want to get into trouble.
Under the arm I don’t want them to think bad of me.
Top of the head I just want to remain in their good books.
EFT tapping round 5
Eyebrow I forget to breathe normally.
Side of the eye Because of that I can’t think clearly.
Under the eye This power imbalance weighs me down.
Under the nose I am afraid to ask for what is rightfully mine.
Chin I’m afraid to make suggestions for fear of being punished.
Collar bone I’m afraid of coming across as over smart or nosy.
Under the arm I’m afraid they will get angry.
Top of the head And they will use their authority to take revenge.
EFT tapping round 6
Eyebrow It feels like I’m walking a tight rope.
Side of the eye With so much going on,
Under the eye I can hardly contribute from my intelligence and tact.
Under the nose I’m tired of coming across as a yes-man.
Chin All my attention is focused on keeping them from getting angry.
Collar bone Maybe it is not really about them.
Under the arm It is about me and my fear.
Top of the head This behaviour was ingrained in me when I was small.
EFT tapping round 7
Eyebrow When agreeing with authority figures
Side of the eye seemed necessary to remain out of trouble.
Under the eye It prevented me from being punished.
Under the nose Authority was at times enforced upon me.
Chin I was made to understand
Collar bone how much I needed to follow, not lead.
Under the arm But now I really really want to appear confident
Top of the head and in control of my faculties
EFT tapping round 8
Eyebrow when talking to an authority figure.
Side of the eye But I’m afraid I’ll become careless
Under the eye and end up offending them.
Under the nose What if I could treat myself as an equal?
Chin No, that would be very offensive to them.
Collar bone They just won’t accept me as an equal.
Under the arm Maybe it is not about equality at the authority level.
Top of the head It is about equality at a fundamental level.
EFT tapping round 9
Eyebrow The equality that everyone has right to.
Side of the eye I can and should expect others to respect
Under the eye me for the human being that I am.
Under the nose One human being is not less valuable than the other.
Chin What if I could remember this too?
Collar bone When I interact with other authority figures,
Under the arm I respect the human being in them
Top of the head and allow myself to be respected in turn.
EFT tapping round 10
Eyebrow I respect their knowledge and authority
Side of the eye and at the same time, I respect my judgment too.
Under the eye I choose not to enforce this equality upon anyone.
Under the nose But allow it gently to be recognized for what it is.
Chin Someone’s degree or their badge or money doesn’t mean I’m inferior.
Collar bone Someone’s being in charge only means that
Under the arm they’ve been given that power so they can do their job well.
Top of the head It doesn’t mean I should relinquish my judgment.
EFT tapping round 11
Eyebrow And who knows they may be pleasantly surprised
Side of the eye by my talents and skills that will unfold
Under the eye when I speak from my heart, and not out of fear.
Under the nose I contribute through my authority in turn.
Chin I’m releasing this need to debase myself before authority figures.
Collar bone I’m releasing this need to be afraid of them.
Under the arm I am naturally calm and confident talking to authority figures.
Top of the head I am an equal.
You could repeat this tapping using similar incidents as your focus. Please share in the comments what difference you notice the next time you are face-to-face with an authority figure.