This post’s message is to ….. GET ANGRY!!
Yes, you heard it – get angry.
Even when you get off on a good start, you often lose the motivation to lose the excess weight. It is not until something happens to remind you of that excess weight, such as a snarky remark from a ‘friend’ or trying on new outfits that you feel a sudden urge to lose weight.
The problem is, this urge is short-lived. One moment you are ready to live and die by your resolve to lose weight and 2 days down the line, you are snuggled comfortably, seeking comfort in all the things that actually contribute to your excess weight. Some of this sounds harsh, but there it is. To lose weight, get angry.
You have to find an emotion strong enough that will propel you forward on your weight loss journey. Instead of fear or shame, how about using anger to motivate you? Channel your anger into motivation, and you’ll never miss a workout.
Now that you are frothing at the leash, let’s get to the assignment.
The C word
Whenever you feel like you can’t handle something or feel pressurized to do something or feel trapped in your job or routine, it increases the production of Cortisol in your body. Infamously known as “the stress hormone” Cortisol is a devil of a hormone that can not only lead to decreased muscle and increased fat, but can also increase food intake, especially of carbohydrates.
The plan is to gently move away from that feeling of wanting to escape from whatever stresses you out.
To zero in on your main stress trigger that is keeping you from losing weight, answer this little questionnaire. Whichever answer has the greatest intensity is the winner. You don’t have to be precise, take a shot and trust that it will be coming from a place of wisdom within you.
- Who is that one person (from present or past) who might be responsible for your extra weight? How do you feel about that person?
- What is that one situation in your present life that routinely aggravates your stress levels?
- What is that one fear in your life you face regularly? (crossing paths with a nasty neighbour / social anxiety / fear of losing someone dear / fear of not making enough money)
- What is standing in the way of your losing weight now? (your job / your routine / laziness). If the reason is pure laziness, you can still tap on the frustration of not having enough motivation. If you feel lazy tapping about it, then ask someone to hold you accountable.
- What is going on right before you reach for that extra coffee or that donut? (boredom/ wanting to escape to calmer surroundings / feeling pressurized / feeling rushed / feeling deprived of appreciation)
Now how do you handle all these varied stress triggers? Whenever you feel trapped, do the wrist press technique I shared here. If you are at work, you could sneak into a toilet and do a couple quick rounds of tapping while simply being in that stressful state. There are no words necessary, what you are feeling is already on the surface, simply tapping will suffice. These few minutes of timely tapping will calm down your stress response and any thoughts about finding an escape in food (or shopping) will get pacified too.
Now here is something controversial I’m sure you have never heard before – the root cause of all excess weight is attachment. Attachment arises from fear.
Where can you find the fear in your one reason that is contributing to your extra weight?
A lot of us have some clue about that one reason to which we attribute our weight gain – marriage, motherhood, genetics, childhood bullying, lavish family dinners, insomnia, cravings and body image issues to name a few. While these events, habits and beliefs seem to justify why we weigh what we weigh, the real question to ask is – what is keeping us attached to these “reasons”?
Is it the fear that a childhood bully may come back in some way, shape or form and you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself? For this, do tap on your childhood incident, but also tap on situations in your present life that remind you of your run-ins with the bully. In what way are you still attached to that bully?
Could it be your attachment to your motherhood status that you do not want to go back to your old weight? If you leave your child to go to the gym, do you fear that you are not being a good mother taking time off for yourself? Do you fear what others will think when they see you putting your health (and weight goals) before your child’s needs? Chase the fear / attachment in this situation.
Is your weight a source of attachment with someone, a family member maybe? Let me explain. When you can’t handle an extreme emotion of love or hate towards someone, where does it go? Tap on that extreme emotional attachment and the fears it gives rise to. An extreme emotional attachment does not always have to be one of love. It can be one of hate. Or anything in between. What do you fear about this relationship?