What is it about being exposed to others that brings out our hidden insecurities and feelings of not being good enough?
When you are by yourself, you may think that you are pretty good, but as soon there is someone else in the equation, your confidence shakes. This insecurity can arise in relationships, friendships, between colleagues and whenever you are amidst a bunch of people.
You cannot pacify these feelings of inferiority by simply accumulating stuff or longing for what others have. You have to first start to feel good in your own skin. Yes, easier said than done.
You have many great ideas in the comfort of your own home, but when you get out there, you suddenly start to feel inadequate. You may be able to visualize images of success, but when it is show time, you start to feel like you’re not all that good.
Everybody feels this fear of not being good enough – it is one of the deepest, most fundamental fears that we as human beings experience.
It can cause you to be arrogant because of the frustration of not feeling good enough in comparison. It can cause you to come across as stand-offish because you are tightening up in order to protect your terrain from these “more talented” people around you.
So someone can be a wonderful person in-vitro, but can come across as completely insecure in natural settings.
When you feel insecure in the presence of others:
- You don’t feel confident and pulled together.
- Your are constantly comparing and belittling yourself even if silently.
- Anyone who is potentially more talented than you feels like a threat.
- You feel defensive and act with unnecessary caution.
- You are easily swayed by others’ opinions.
- You find it hard to stand up for your values.
- You may feel arrogant in order to ‘protect your turf’.
This tapping script will help you to remain calm and feel non-threatened when in the company of others.
Tap along to the script while remembering a specific incident where you felt decidedly insecure interacting with someone or a bunch of people. Repeat the tapping with other such incidents in mind. Notice yourself the next time you are around people who bring out insecurity in you. If you still sense some leftover charge, come back and tap some more to clear it.
EFT tapping set up
Even though I secretly feel inferior when I am among people, even when I am trying to put up a confident face, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I am afraid to bring out my best when I am among people, and someone always seems better than me, I acknowledge my feeling this way. I am open to learning new ways of carrying myself so I can feel better and better in the presence of others.
Even though I feel pressured to be perfect in the company of others, I learned this behaviour long ago, what if I could now learn to relax little by little in the presence of others?
Even though what someone else has always seems better to me than my own possessions, I am open to learning how to appreciate more and more of what I have, too.
EFT tapping round 1
Eyebrow I feel inferior when I am amidst people.
Side of the eye I feel like I am not good enough compared to others.
Under the eye Even if I feel confident when I am all by myself,
Under the nose just being among people shakes my confidence.
Chin I feel threatened.
Collar bone I feel insecure.
Under the arm God forbid they turn out to be truly better than I am in some way.
Top of the head I feel the pressure to be perfect.
EFT tapping round 2
Eyebrow I feel the need to put walls around me
Side of the eye otherwise they will see through my imperfections.
Under the eye I feel the need to be defensive, so I justify everything.
Under the nose What others have always seems better than what I have.
Chin My own talents seem dull in comparison with theirs.
Collar bone Everything about me makes me conscious.
This tapping script continues in my tapping program that includes video tap-alongs for this and other major aspects of social anxiety. Check it out here: Social Anxiety Tapping Pack