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Using EFT to deal with people who criticize you constantly
Sometimes we come across or even live with people who are quite critical and judgmental of us. They may put us down, directly or indirectly, through words or deeds.
Such people are energy drainers and leave us exhausted. It doesn’t matter how nice you are to them, they will find some flaw in you, a stick to beat you with. Repeated run-ins with such people can leave us depleted and less confident in ourselves.
We may start to question our worthiness for acceptance. This can set up a toxic reaction where you are trying harder and harder to please them so they will stop criticizing you. But their approval may never come. We start to dread being around them.
This could even become a pattern wherein we keep running into critics at every step. How about we trying tapping for this situation?
If you are new to EFT, please see our guide to using EFT first. That will get you up and running with EFT quickly.
Tip: For better results, focus on specific people instead of tapping on all the critical people in your life at once. In a single go of the script, focus on a given person or a group of related people, such as a group of colleagues, a bunch of critical relatives or just your critical neighbour.
Karate Chop
Even though these people are so critical of me and I can never be good enough for them, a part of me longs for their approval.
Even though these people do and say things that make me feel bad about myself, I want to be appreciated and loved for who I am.
Even though I’m stiff with dread and never comfortable around these people, for fear of what they will say next, to upset my balance, I wish I could just be myself around them.
Even though I’m forever fielding their snide remarks, there is a part of me that just seems to gravitate towards such people instead of keeping my distance.
Even though a part of me almost expects these people to look down upon me, yet feels disempowered to ask them to back off, I wish I could bone up to them calmly and confidently.
Round 1
Start of eyebrow I dread facing these people.
Side of the eye They judge me and I can feel it in my bones.
Under the eye In their eyes, I can never be good enough.
Under the nose I can never relax in their company.
Above the chin I feel so vulnerable around them.
Collar bone Whatever I do, they find a weak spot to pick on me.
Under arm I feel drained, constantly trying to protect myself.
Top of the head But I am tired of catering to these people.
Round 2
Start of eyebrow I am tired of seeking their approval.
Side of the eye And I am tired of not getting their approval.
Under the eye But a part of me longs for their approval.
Under the nose A part of me will feel like a failure
Above the chin unless I have their love and acceptance.
Collar bone But I also know that they are not looking
Under arm to find any good in me anyway.
Top of the head Maybe they even gossip behind my back.
Round 3
Start of eyebrow Pitying me, laughing at me, bad mouthing me.
Side of the eye But what good is it serving them?
Under the eye They cannot gossip enough
Under the nose to feel any better about themselves.
Above the chin They are not solving any of their own problems
Collar bone by talking about me.
Under arm The time they could be spending
Top of the head chasing their own happiness.
Round 4
Start of eyebrow And I’m not saying this just philosophically,
Side of the eye or because that’s what
Under the eye losers are supposed to tell themselves.
Under the nose The only approval that should matter to me is mine.
Above the chin These people just play with my insecurities.
Collar bone No matter how much I allow myself to be
Under arm exploited by their criticism, with the hope
Top of the head that they will someday be pleased enough
Round 5
Start of eyebrow to see the good in me,
Side of the eye it is true that I can never become
Under the eye bad enough in their eyes
Under the nose for them to feel good about themselves.
Above the chin How they feel about themselves is their problem.
Collar bone I wish I could just move away from these people.
Under arm And yet I know that there might be more such people
Top of the head coming into my life in the future.
Round 6
Start of eyebrow Maybe I cannot avoid that.
Side of the eye But I CAN avoid wasting my energy fielding their criticism.
Under the eye I choose to be comfortable even when
Under the nose I do have to face such people.
Above the chin And if there is something in their manner that
Collar bone I should be offended by,
Under arm something that toes the line too far,
Top of the head I’m smart enough to stand up for myself.
Round 7
Start of eyebrow And to tell them to back off.
Side of the eye I’m already standing up for myself
Under the eye by choosing to be myself
Under the nose no matter what company I am in.
Above the chin And if there is anything of substance in their criticism,
Collar bone if any of their suggestions do align
Under arm with my highest good and happiness,
Top of the head I’m smart enough to pick that up, too,
Round 8
Start of eyebrow and embetter my life.
Side of the eye With this knowledge, I can loosen up a bit.
Under the eye I can relax my face. Releasing the tightness in my jaw.
Under the nose And my body. Releasing the stiffness in my chest and bones.
Above the chin I choose to relax my mind too, since
Collar bone I don’t need to be ready with an
Under arm instant repartee to their remarks.
Top of the head Instead, I choose to align myself
Round 9
Start of eyebrow with the infinite love and acceptance
Side of the eye that is within me
Under the eye Since a part of me knows that
Under the nose no matter how much approval and acceptance
Above the chin I get from others, or don’t get from others,
Collar bone it is only I who can give myself
Under arm the amount of love and approval
Top of the head that can ever create a deep satisfaction
Round 10
Start of eyebrow and feelings of belongingness.
Side of the eye The more I accept myself along with my flaws,
Under the eye and the more I like myself for what I am,
Under the nose the more I fall in love with myself,
Above the chin and the more I free myself from this vibration
Collar bone that pulls me towards critical people
Under arm who are probably going through life
Top of the head looking for others they can judge and criticize.
Round 11
Start of eyebrow I choose to detach myself from this vibration, for good.
Side of the eye I’m no longer answering their call for guinea pigs.
Under the eye Even though it is so hard to come to terms
Under the nose with this realization that no matter what I do,
Above the chin there will always be people who will want
Collar bone to pull me down, criticize me, and not in a healthy way,
Under arm I am open to accepting myself and this idea more.
Top of the head The seeds of this desperate desire for approval
Round 12
Start of eyebrow were probably sown in my childhood.
Side of the eye Maybe I didn’t have a choice then.
Under the eye But I’m now smart enough
Under the nose not to let critical people run my life.
Above the chin I choose to release this need for approval from people
Collar bone who will never really appreciate me.
Under arm I set myself free to be just what I will be.
Top of the head I choose to be calm and confident.
With this, you may notice that critical people in your life do not have so much power over you anymore. They may notice the subtle (or not so subtle) difference in you too, since you won’t be emitting a vibe of “come, pick on me” anymore. Repeat tapping through the script if you feel the need to do so.
Tap through the script a few times, while focusing on a different group of people each time, and problems with the rest of the critical people in your life may also dissolve without tapping for them specifically. If other negative emotions arise during this tapping, make a note of them, and tap on them after you are done with the script.
I'm an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping enthusiast and a computer geek. My done-for-you programs take the difficulty out of using Tapping and make it easy for everyone to benefit from this powerful, life-changing technique.
I liked this script, Sonal, but I changed the “them” that criticize me to “my mother” and that REALLY helped:)