Raise your hand if you have ever bought something just to avoid hurting the sentiments of a sales person. Or lent money to a friend when you were uncomfortable doing so. Or agreed to unreasonable demands of your kids.
Because of an inability to say no, you could come across as a person who is not very strong of character, because you are habitually nodding to what someone else is saying. You could come across as someone who does not have original views of their own.
The hesitation in saying no comes from the fear of rejection and the fear of consequences. The thing is, if you voice your opinion on something, there is always going to be someone who would be opposed to that view.
In your right mind you do understand that every no does not have to be a rude, shocking no. There are myriad ways of tactfully putting forth your no. But when the time comes, it is as if you go into an auto-yes mode.
By not having a strong no you are suppressing an important part of your personality. This tapping script will help you release your fears around the idea of saying no.
If you are not familiar with EFT tapping, check out this EFT tapping points video tutorial to learn it within minutes.
Bring to mind someone from your current circles or from your past to whom you could not say no. Then tap along focusing on that. You may need to bring up a couple instances where you were unable to say no, in order to clear all the fears.
Tapping through this EFT script takes about 8 minutes.
EFT tapping set up
Even though I am not comfortable saying NO to people for fear of hurting their sentiments, I deeply and completely love and accept myself for feeling this fear and acting this way. This shows I am a nice person, but I am now open to being nice to me for a change.
Even though I often hold myself back from saying NO, I am open to learning to express myself honestly and without fear.
Even though it doesn’t feel safe saying NO to people because they will reject me or harm me, I want to ease into the idea of saying NO safely. I want to learn to say NO politely, but firmly.
Even though I may have learned from my experiences that I will be judged and punished for saying NO, I choose to unlearn these “lessons” and make way for a new, confident me with a strong NO.
EFT tapping round 1
Eyebrow I am not comfortable saying NO to people.
Side of the eye When someone gives me a choice,
Under the eye I involuntarily veer towards what they want me to say.
Under the nose I nod in agreement with what they say.
Chin I squirm silently if I disagree, but God forbid I have to say NO.
Collar bone I agree with their suggestions and say yes when I shouldn’t.
Under the arm It is as if I am already screaming ‘yes’ to their face,
Top of the head even before they have asked a question.
EFT tapping round 2
Eyebrow I am so easily influenced, it is pathetic!
Side of the eye I justify my yes with stupid reasons.
Under the eye I don’t give myself enough time to think carefully
Under the nose before I make commitments, just to keep others happy.
Chin I want to be in their good books. What’s wrong with that?
Collar bone I don’t like the look of their face when I say no.
Under the arm I feel like I let them down by turning them down.
Top of the head I feel obligated to say yes when I mean NO.
EFT tapping round 3
Eyebrow I worry people will feel bad if I refuse their offer.
Side of the eye All this blinding fear.
Under the eye I fear they will turn against me and take revenge.
Under the nose Sometimes the nicest people cannot handle a NO.
Chin I don’t even look like a person who can have a strong NO.
Collar bone Anyway they won’t respect my NO.
Under the arm They will only use it to take offense.
Top of the head They will pull back their love and affection from me.
EFT tapping round 4
Eyebrow They will think I am high strung and uptight.
Side of the eye I don’t know how to say NO without hurting others.
Under the eye What if there are more than one ways of saying NO?
Under the nose What if I could learn to say NO in a way that resonates with me?
Chin When I feel hopelessly cornered, what if I could
Collar bone creatively buy time until I have made up a clear YES or NO?
Under the arm My saying NO doesn’t mean I’m rejecting people.
Top of the head I am doing them a favour because if I grudgingly say YES,
EFT tapping round 5
Eyebrow I will be resenting them for wrangling a YES out of me.
Side of the eye I’d rather think kindly of them and say NO.
Under the eye They say if you stand up for nothing, you will fall for anything.
Under the nose My NO helps me take a rightful stand.
Chin My YES may make me a darling, but my NO shows I’m authentic too.
Collar bone My NO helps me set boundaries. My NO is an integral part of who I am.
Under the arm I have neglected my NO for a long time.
Top of the head Part of me learned long ago that the way to win love
EFT tapping round 6
Eyebrow and acceptance was by way of nodding YES.
Side of the eye This learning has done me more harm than good.
Under the eye From now on, whenever I catch myself
Under the nose sliding into this ‘obedient child’ mode,
Chin I choose to shake myself out of my trance
Collar bone and act like the reasonable grown up that I am now.
Under the arm I choose to release all this fear of what my NO may bring.
Top of the head I choose to forgive myself for all the past times
EFT tapping round 7
Eyebrow I said YES when I meant NO.
Side of the eye I choose to learn how to say NO politely but firmly.
Under the eye Yes, there will always be people who will take offense at my NO.
Under the nose They may reject me or try to get even with me.
Chin But if they will only accept me if I said YES,
Collar bone what does it say about them?
Under the arm I choose to be okay that some people will not like my NO.
Top of the head When I become comfortable with my NO,
EFT tapping round 8
Eyebrow I will attract people who are comfortable with my NO.
Side of the eye My NO is not to hurt sentiments or get sadistic pleasure.
Under the eye I choose to use my NO discerningly.
Under the nose I have been used to saying YES out of habit.
Chin I now choose to say NO mindfully.
Collar bone I choose to embrace my NO, starting now.
Under the arm I choose to be alert before saying YES or NO.
Top of the head I choose to be calm and confident.
In addition, this EFT tapping script to release fear of displeasing people will help you develop a strong no response. And this tapping script to release anxiety about what others think of you will help as well.