When you are by yourself, you may think that you are pretty good, but as soon there is someone else in the equation, your confidence shakes. This insecurity can arise in relationships, friendships, between colleagues and whenever you are amidst a bunch of people.
You cannot pacify these feelings of inferiority by simply accumulating stuff or longing for what others have. You have to first start to feel good in your own skin. Yes, easier said than done.
You have many great ideas in the comfort of your own home, but when you get out there, you suddenly start to feel inadequate. You may be able to visualize images of success, but when it is show time, you start to feel like you’re not all that good.
Everybody feels this fear of not being good enough – it is one of the deepest, most fundamental fears that we as human beings experience.
It can cause you to be arrogant because of the frustration of not feeling good enough in comparison. It can cause you to come across as stand-offish because you are tightening up in order to protect your terrain from these “more talented” people around you.
So someone can be a wonderful person in-vitro, but can come across as completely insecure in natural settings.
When you feel insecure in the presence of others:
- You don’t feel confident and pulled together.
- Your are constantly comparing and belittling yourself even if silently.
- Anyone who is potentially more talented than you feels like a threat.
- You feel defensive and act with unnecessary caution.
- You are easily swayed by others’ opinions.
- You find it hard to stand up for your values.
- You may feel arrogant in order to ‘protect your turf’.
This tapping script will help you to remain calm and feel non-threatened when in the company of others.
Tap along to the script while remembering a specific incident where you felt decidedly insecure interacting with someone or a bunch of people. Repeat the tapping with other such incidents in mind. Notice yourself the next time you are around people who bring out insecurity in you. If you still sense some leftover charge, come back and tap some more to clear it.
EFT tapping set up
Even though I secretly feel inferior when I am among people, even when I am trying to put up a confident face, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I am afraid to bring out my best when I am among people, and someone always seems better than me, I acknowledge my feeling this way. I am open to learning new ways of carrying myself so I can feel better and better in the presence of others.
Even though I feel pressured to be perfect in the company of others, I learned this behaviour long ago, what if I could now learn to relax little by little in the presence of others?
Even though what someone else has always seems better to me than my own possessions, I am open to learning how to appreciate more and more of what I have, too.
EFT tapping round 1
Eyebrow I feel inferior when I am amidst people.
Side of the eye I feel like I am not good enough compared to others.
Under the eye Even if I feel confident when I am all by myself,
Under the nose just being among people shakes my confidence.
Chin I feel threatened.
Collar bone I feel insecure.
Under the arm God forbid they turn out to be truly better than I am in some way.
Top of the head I feel the pressure to be perfect.
EFT tapping round 2
Eyebrow I feel the need to put walls around me
Side of the eye otherwise they will see through my imperfections.
Under the eye I feel the need to be defensive, so I justify everything.
Under the nose What others have always seems better than what I have.
Chin My own talents seem dull in comparison with theirs.
Collar bone Everything about me makes me conscious.
Under the arm It’s like suddenly I am not good enough.
Top of the head All my thoughts become focused on my imperfections.
EFT tapping round 3
Eyebrow My clothing, my looks, my speech, my manners.
Side of the eye I am just a different me when I am amidst people.
Under the eye I am afraid to make a point,
Under the nose for the fear that someone will call me out on it,
Chin or challenge me to a mind game which I will lose.
Collar bone Of course I will lose since I am not using my brain
Under the arm when I’m in the presence of others.
Top of the head All my mental power is being used in protecting myself,
EFT tapping round 4
Eyebrow from what I don’t know.
Side of the eye It is as if I am surrounded by predators
Under the eye and I am thinking with my primitive brain.
Under the nose What if someone insults me?
Chin That would be a kind of attack, won’t it?
Collar bone Others look so confident and at ease.
Under the arm They are not perfect, I can tell.
Top of the head Even if someone praises me, I feel insecure
EFT tapping round 5
Eyebrow fearing their good opinion of me will not last.
Side of the eye I long for the warmth of their company.
Under the eye And yet feel undeserving of their time and attention.
Under the nose I want them to feel good talking to me.
Chin In that process I debase myself to the point of no return.
Collar bone At the back of my mind I am belittling myself.
Under the arm I learned early on that life is but a struggle.
Top of the head As long as I’m running faster than all of them, I will survive.
EFT tapping round 6
Eyebrow As long I’m stronger than all of them, I will thrive.
Side of the eye My survival instinct kicks in when I am surrounded by people.
Under the eye But what if everything is not relative?
Under the nose What if my advancement does not mean the derailment of another?
Chin What if it was safe for me to drop my guard, just a little?
Collar bone What if I could remind myself to relax little by little?
Under the arm What if I could take baby steps and reach out just a little?
Top of the head What if I could remember to drop my shoulders
EFT tapping round 7
Eyebrow and take a deep breath everytime I felt threatened?
Side of the eye What if I could learn to be a good listener?
Under the eye What if instead of feeling inferior about what others have,
Under the nose I could feel inspired to achieve better than that?
Chin What if I could remember grass always looks greener on the other side?
Collar bone What if I did not need to have the last word in every conversation?
Under the arm What if people turned out to be very accepting of me, to my surprise?
Top of the head What if I could focus on how I can contribute with my unique skills?
EFT tapping round 8
Eyebrow Instead of comparing myself non-stop?
Side of the eye What if I could learn to take others’ opinions with a pinch of salt?
Under the eye What if I could check with my common sense
Under the nose before forming conclusions about myself?
Chin What if I could sometimes take things at their face value,
Collar bone instead of always trying to read in between the lines?
Under the arm I choose to remember that I am surrounded by people
Top of the head just like me, not predators ready to pounce. I can relax.
EFT tapping round 9
Eyebrow Starting now, I choose to loosen up, little by little.
Side of the eye Everytime I find myself getting caught up in the game,
Under the eye I choose to step back and silently remind myself
Under the nose that no matter what, my place in the world is secure.
Chin I am valuable simply by the virtue of being here.
Collar bone This is not setting low standards, this is setting me free.
Under the arm Free from fear, I can relax.
Top of the head One person or a hundred, I am safe.