Pain of Betrayal and Difficulty Trusting Others Program

Welcome and program Walk-through

There are 3 stages to releasing the pain of betrayal using EFT. In the first stage you let out all of your frustration and verbalize your anger and sadness. If you are from the Law of Attraction line of thinking or simply a positive thinker, you might wonder why we are focusing so much on ranting out negative thoughts in this stage. The thing is, EFT is a cleansing technique. you bring up negative emotions to the surface and clear them out. When we are not tapping, it serves us to hold the highest and best thoughts possible. But during the first stage of tapping, focus as much as you can on the pain and anger until you feel ready to move on to some positive tapping.

The second stage is where start to open up to the possibility of things getting better for you. You start to wonder how it would be if you released all the hurt. In the third and final stage, you release the hurt and replace it with positive, empowering choices for your future.

We start by tapping on the side of the hand. This is called the Karate chop point. By tapping here, we are cancelling out any hidden resistance that we may have to getting rid of the problem. After that, we tap on some acupuncture points on the face and body. You will get the hang of it as you tap along with me. As for what to say while tapping, you can repeat after me, or you can tune into your own thoughts as you tap along with me.

During the tapping, thoughts and memories related to that betrayal may float into your mind. This memory could have been of happier times you spent with this person or it could be from the day you found out about the betrayal. After you finish tapping through the videos, come back to this memory and do a few rounds of Tapping until you start to feel better about it. You will not need to use any words because you will be already tuned into the feeling. If you can’t tap on all of the videos in one sitting, it’s okay.

Also whenever something happens to remind you of the betrayal, you can always come back and tap along to the videos. It is perfectly fine to tap through a video as many times as you need.

Module 1: Addressing the pain of betrayal

Set up tapping on karate chop

Even though I am hurting so much because this person betrayed me, I acknowledge that it is reasonable to feel sad and angry in this situation.

Even though they broke my trust and that makes it hard for me to trust anyone now, I am understanding that this generalized mistrust of everyone is not good for me.

Even though I feel stupid because I did not see through their conspiring, cheating ways, I want to release this regret and move on, wiser from this experience.

Round 1

Eyebrow    I am so gullible!

Side of the eye    Sure enough, they let me down.

Under the eye    How could they do this to me?

Under the nose    I feel like I got run over by a truck.

Chin     I didn’t see it coming.

Collar bone   Even if I did, I didn’t want to believe it.

Under the arm   I wanted to give them an honest chance.

Top of the head    To think that this person hid so much from me.

Round 2

Eyebrow    All the while I was pouring my heart out to them.

Side of the eye    But they had other plans. They had a hidden agenda.

Under the eye    Now it all makes sense. But what’s the point now?

Under the nose    They were out there to cheat me and I foolishly played along.

Chin     I’ll never get over it. Why should I?

Collar bone    That will be like letting them get away easy.

Under the arm    Maybe this person is already on their way cheating someone else, planning their next trap

Top of the head    They said all the right things.

Round 3

Eyebrow    They said everything I wanted to hear.

Side of the eye    Everything seemed square and above board.

Under the eye    I wanted to place my trust in their goodness.

Under the nose    I hoped they would come through for me.

Chin     And then, this happens.

Collar bone    As it is I have a hard time trusting others.

Under the arm    When such things happen, it makes it even harder.

Top of the head    Trusting someone feels like taking a big risk.

Round 4

Eyebrow    I trust them and they burn me.

Side of the eye    I can never get rid of the memories.

Under the eye    I refuse to let this go. I refuse to let them go.

Under the nose    Forgiving and forgetting are for losers.

Chin     Besides, this person does not deserve to be forgiven.

Collar bone    Some people just don’t have a conscience.

Under the arm    I guess I’m dealing with someone like that here.

Top of the head    Was I walking around with a blindfold on all this time?

Round 5

Eyebrow    I feel so stupid and taken advantage of!

Side of the eye    What will such people not do to get their way?

Under the eye    I want that person to be punished.

Under the nose    I want them to feel bad for what they did.

Chin     Maybe they were persuaded by other people to do what they did.

Collar bone    Part of me secretly hopes that they will come back

Under the arm    and clarify how all this was just a misunderstanding.

Top of the head    And how I actually hold a very high place in their heart.

Round 6

Eyebrow    And things will go back to being as they were.

Side of the eye    But even in this state I know it is futile to expect this.

Under the eye    And now where are they? Hiding behind more excuses.

Under the nose    Or secretly gloating over their exploits.

Chin     I thought I was smart enough to see through a deception but now I’m not so sure.

Collar bone    I’m starting to lose all trust in everyone.

Under the arm    I’m just not a good judge of character.

Top of the head    I get sucked in by false promises and fake appearances.

Round 7

Eyebrow    And then I get my heart broken, shattered.

Side of the eye    It pains me to think that someone would want to cheat me.

Under the eye    Is that all I am to them?

Under the nose    I should be out there trying to get revenge.

Chin     I want them to suffer for what they did.

Collar bone    I want them to feel sorry for what they did.

Under the arm    But as I wait for that day, I am suffering myself.

Top of the head    What if I do not have to suffer?

Module 2: The perspective shift

Set up tapping on karate chop

Even though I am finding it hard to come to terms with what they did, I want to embrace peace slowly but surely.

Even though it hurts to know that there are such people out there, and I have the misfortune of running into them, I want to tune into a feeling of hope.

Even though this incident has made me very skeptical in general, I want to ease out of this constant paranoia and loosen up, for my sake.

Round 8

Eyebrow    People lie all the time.

Side of the eye    They shirk back from their moral obligations all the time.

Under the eye    Not even love or trust can get them to tow the line.

Under the nose    People make commitments only to never keep them.

Chin    And I am left gaping at their blatant dishonesty.

Collar bone    It makes me wonder if I am the finicky one who expects a lot out of others.

Under the arm    Or if they think I don’t deserve the best they can do.

Top of the head    They hold back from delivering their best.

Round 9

Eyebrow    I can see the potential in them, why can’t they?

Side of the eye    Why would people not push themselves more?

Under the eye    Sometimes it feels like they don’t understand me or my expectations.

Under the nose    Trusting others means there are so many unspoken assumptions.

Chin    I cannot trust anyone unless we connect  at a level where we absolutely understand each other.

Collar bone    Where we are in perfect agreement with what I want.

Under the arm    But by not allowing others to exercise their free will, where am I “trusting” them?

Top of the head    I’m “controlling” them. No one likes to be controlled.

Round 10

Eyebrow    But what about the dishonest ones who promise the moon and cheat me anyway?

Side of the eye    Sometimes it is about money, sometimes it is because of other people

Under the eye    sometimes it is because they just don’t care enough to look good in my eyes.

Under the nose    Whatever it is, it hurts when people take my trust for granted.

Chin    Because of this way of living, every interaction feels like a battle.

Collar bone    How do I even come to terms with the fact that most people around me are dishonest?

Under the arm    It takes courage to live up to your promises.

Top of the head    What will these cowards know about keeping promises?

Round 11

Eyebrow    It takes conviction to stand up for something.

Side of the eye    What will these whiners know about taking a stand?

Under the eye    It is actually the weaker kind who have to use covert means

Under the nose    to get others to fall in line with their plans.

Chin    Even when I want to trust someone, there is always a faint suspicion at the back of my mind.

Collar bone    Because of this deep mistrust, I often pass up opportunities

Under the arm    that could really benefit me. Top of the head    How do I even know who to trust?

Module 3: Freedom for a fresh start

Set up tapping on karate chop

Even though I am finding it hard to come to terms with what they did, I want to embrace peace slowly but surely.

Even though it hurts to know that there are such people out there, and I have the misfortune of running into them, I want to tune into a feeling of hope.

Even though this incident has made me very skeptical in general, I want to ease out of this constant paranoia and loosen up, for my sake.

Round 12

Eyebrow    Maybe there is a way to spot a liar.

Side of the eye    And that is to question myself first.

Under the eye    What am I not wanting to see in this situation?

Under the nose    And if the answer feels uncomfortable,

Chin    I need to step back instead of going ahead. Collar bone    I choose to ask the right questions even if it feels uncomfortable.

Under the arm    Even if I fear they will dislike me for questioning their intentions.

Top of the head    I often fail to hear it, but I now choose to listen to my voice of reason more and more.

Round 13

Eyebrow    When I am at a point where I want to rush and blindly trust someone,

Side of the eye    I will silently step back, buy more time if needed,

Under the eye    check with my common sense, weigh the risks and then go.

Under the nose    This is not war, this is training. Chin    This is training to learn to trust my own good sense.

Collar bone    It is better than trusting what someone might be telling me on the surface.

Under the arm    This is taking responsibility for my own decisions.

Top of the head    In the past, I have used my inaction as an excuse and called it “trust”.

Round 14

Eyebrow    By placing the responsibility on the shoulders of an unwilling volunteer.

Side of the eye    To expect honesty from others, I have to be honest with myself first.

Under the eye    Honesty will burst the bubble I might be building around the situation

Under the nose    hoping that if I ignore the facts, things will turn out okay in the end.

Chin    And if it looks like they don’t have my best interest on their mind, I choose to walk away,

Collar bone    Fully trusting that what I need, lies further ahead.

Under the arm    I just need to keep walking and keep looking.

Top of the head    Knowing that I am not the victim here.

Round 15

Eyebrow    I choose to remember that I’m never the victim.

Side of the eye    While once burnt twice shy may be as the saying goes,

Under the eye    I don’t have to take it to my grave. I can relax.

Under the nose    And while it is not okay that I got duped,

Chin    and nothing anyone can say will make it right,

Collar bone    I am understanding that I do not need to keep suffering.

Under the arm    The rest of my life awaits me.

Top of the head    No one, no one has the power to change the course of my life forever.

Round 16

Eyebrow    Not even that person.

Side of the eye    I will do what I need to do to take care of things.

Under the eye    But first I choose to stop the suffering, right here, right now.

Under the nose    And while there may be a rotten apple once in a while,

Chin    the world at large is a safe place. It is full of good people.

Collar bone    Instead of setting myself up for hurt, I am opening up to pleasant surprises.

Under the arm    Trust is a beautiful thing and I choose to use it wisely.

Top of the head    I choose to feel calm and confident.

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